We have all heard the saying, “it was the straw that broke the camel’s back” or a more shortened version, “that’s the last straw, I’ve had it.” When someone tells us “that’s the last straw!” we tend to focus on what set them off. What triggered that person’s tipping point, or what was the “last straw”. The thing is that we shouldn’t really worry about so much about the last straw but rather, try to figure out what all the other straws were. What were all those other straws, or issues, that loaded down the camel in the first place and led to the last straw breaking it’s back so to speak. Those piles of straw are the real reasons people leave a company or, in some cases, snap. In the end, the last straw is just the tipping point but clearly, they have been on the edge for a while.

So why do we focus on the last straw? Because that is the most obvious and most direct link we have. Many people stop there and don’t dig further. Why did Larry leave?

“They changed the type of pens we use.” I don’t think so. My guess is that Larry has been simmering for a while and a number of issues are to blame.

When we see someone at their tipping point, which can raise itself in a resignation, an eruption, or sometimes physically, we need to stop and investigate. Digging deeper than just the pens changing and asking questions about what was bothering Larry could help understand what caused him to reach his tipping point. What were the straws that piled up? Were they self-inflicted? Are there other issues compounding? Did we miss warning signs that the straws were piling up by choosing not to address them? Examining the straws will help to understand how someone reached their tipping point and can help to keep others from incurring a similar fate. Unfortunately, many managers can be blind to their own straw piles until it’s too late.

I once had a department head come to me upset that the company had recently made the decision to not provide lunch every day to staff. This was a software company which had some pretty awesome benefits but new owners had started making some changes in the interest of savings. The department head was upset and said that his people were feeling that the company didn’t care for them anymore and he feared that his staff would be leaving the company soon. He had just come from a venting session that his team leaders had had with him and he was visibly upset. He said that the team felt that no one was recognizing the work they did and taking away the lunches was the last straw. I looked at him calmly and said that people don’t leave over lunches and that there must be more to it. He looked at me incredulously and said that the company was to blame. I asked him a few more questions that I already knew the answers to.

• Are you still having your weekly morning department meetings? “Yes.”
• Are you attending those meetings? “Well, not every time, but my team leaders run the meetings.”
• How many meetings have you attended in the last month” “Actually I haven’t been able to get to the meetings this month.”
• What usually happens at these meetings? “Usually the team leaders talk about the latest changes in the software and cover any issues that they may be dealing with.”
• Do the staff get opportunities to talk much in these meetings? “Not really, it’s kind of information dump meetings because that’s all we have time for.”
• Do you recognize your team at these meetings? “Well no, it’s not that kind of meeting. Anyway, isn’t that the company’s responsibility?”

He had gotten a lot quieter and a little defensive after my questions. I explained that the employees rarely see the entire company as a collection of people but project what their management is doing to the company as a whole. They often see what the manager does and doesn’t do as sanctioned by the company and therefore what the company must want to happen. I told him that of the idea of “the company” starts with him. He is the communication piece to and from the employees and his actions are the company’s actions to his staff. The lunches may have been the last straw but that one action wasn’t as important as all of the straws that led to the last one.

I asked him what would happen if he started attending those meetings and running them himself. He said that it would mean a lot more work for him. I asked if that extra effort was less time consuming than replacing disgruntled staff. I challenged him to commit to attending the next four weekly meetings and actually running them himself. I asked him to take the opportunity in these meetings to recognize one or two employees that stood out in the previous week. The company had a collection of gift cards ready to recognize employees, and I encouraged him to utilize them. He had not handed out any gift cards in the last six months.

I explained that he would need to put effort into preparing for these meetings. This would mean more work for him, especially in keeping an eye on how his staff were performing and what their frustrations might be. He would need to include his team leads in on what he was doing and why. He would also need the leads to let him know when good things were happening in the department, as well as train them to look for the positives and be open to suggestions.

He reluctantly accepted my challenge and left the meeting calmer and quieter; admitting he had a lot to think about.

I had made a note to check in with the department head in a month but I didn’t need to. He came into my office three weeks after our initial meeting asking if I had time to talk about his meetings. He was upbeat and beaming. He had taken my comments to heart and had run the last several weekly meetings with a different approach. He had not only attended the meetings (which initially brought quizzical looks and comments from his staff) but begun running the meetings again. He was open and honest with his employees that he had been remiss in not attending the meetings and would be taking a different approach moving forward. They would still do updates in the meetings but he also wanted to hear from the team on what issues they saw and what successes they wanted to share. He also starting taking the time to publicly recognize at least two staff members each meeting for their work. This was met with some awkward silences at first, but by the next few meetings was followed by cheers and applause.

He took time each meeting to go around the room to see if anyone had anything to add or discuss. This again was a bit quiet but people were starting to open up once they saw he was serious and wanted feedback. A number of previously unnoticed issues with software bugs were raised and dealt with as a result of these meetings. He was elated at the idea that he was actively involved in engaging his team and saw the benefit of the work he put into running the meeting properly.

I asked him why he thought he had stopped attending the meetings in the first place, to which he replied that the meetings had become a mundane part of the routine and no one looked forward to them. He saw now that he was missing the opportunity to engage and learn from his team each week.

Before he left I further challenged him to keep this process going and to make sure that it didn’t become routine again. He had gained momentum in the short term but could easily lose it if he didn’t sustain the process. He said that he understood how it could become routine again and had planned to challenge his staff on how to keep the meetings interactive.

The department head had become blind to all the straws in the pile that were adding up and weighing down his department’s morale. All too often it is easy to blame the company for issues that are really the responsibility of the department. When the department head for the sales team approached me with a similar issue, I used the previous situation as an example. Taking it further, I challenged him to attend one of the department head’s newly revitalized meetings for inspiration in his own department. I asked him if he knew how big his straw piles had become.

In the end, we need to keep an eye out for the piles of straw that may be accumulating around us, whether it’s on our own backs or those of our staff. By keeping an eye out for the piles, we can keep the last straw from hopefully breaking someone’s back. It takes work but can be worth the effort to save a few camels.